Debunking Common Therapy Myths

When we first go into therapy, many of us may not always know what to expect. Sometimes we may even hold certain expectations or conceptualizations of what the therapy process entails (perhaps based on what we’ve seen on TV or movies). Below are a few therapy myths we can debunk and a few thoughts on what we can expect going into therapy:

#1 - You only need therapy if you have serious issues.

This is likely the most common myth that I come across when people are first considering therapy. However, what deems something as “serious” is entirely subjective. Further, it is expected that throughout the journey of life, we will go through various ups and downs—sometimes we need a little help and guidance during those rougher periods. Struggles come in all shapes and sizes in our life journey, and none are more valid than another.

This myth is also a form of invalidation of our individual experiences. Something does not need to meet a certain “threshold” of serious in order to be considered valid. Your individual experience and the feelings attached are always completely valid.

You can read my post on how we know if we need therapy for more of my thoughts on this.

#2 - A therapist’s job is to give advice and tell me what to do.

Often there is this perception that a therapist is an “all-knowing” being, and that as a client, we come to our therapist to find all the answers on what we should do and how we should live. But a therapist’s job isn’t to tell you what to do; rather, their job is to help guide you to finding the answers within yourself.

A therapist may help in directing you to changes that can bring you into alignment with your true self and your values, but ultimately, you are in the driver’s seat. You are the expert on you. Essentially your life is not your therapist’s to live, but yours. And what is right for you may not be right for every other individual. So as relieving as it would be to have the game plan laid out for us, a therapist’s job is to help you find the game plan that honors you in who you are and where you are in your process.

#3 - Therapy is meant as a means to “fix” me.

Going off the last myth, people also occasionally think that therapy will help “fix them,” akin to going into a car shop and getting the kinks fixed after a few sessions. While this would certainly make life a lot easier, unfortunately, humans don’t work this way; we are not machines to be fixed.

Change in of itself is a very complex process. This is why I often describe it as a “journey,” because as with any journey, there will be successes, challenges, movement toward, and setbacks. Also, we as humans are wired to be imperfect; meaning, we will make mistakes. If we view ourselves as something to be “fixed,” we will become stuck in a hamster wheel, running after a standard that is unachievable.

The way I would reframe this myth is: therapy is there to help you better understand yourself, find healing, and make changes in your life that will help you honor your true self.

#4 - All therapy works the same way.

Especially for those who have seen a therapist before, there may be an assumption that all therapists operate in a similar way. However, all therapists hold their own views on change and use different interventions that aid in that change. Many therapists may use a specific orientation / type of therapy, while other therapists may be generalists or use a variety of different approaches in their work.

While some people are clear on what they are specifically looking for in a therapist, if you aren’t sure, you can always ask a prospective therapist what their approach is to therapy and see if it resonates with you. You don’t need to be specific in what you are looking for; sometimes just having a therapist you feel comfortable and safe with is enough.

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Hopefully debunking some of these myths are helpful. I will go through more therapy myths in future posts, but remember that if there is anything you are uncertain or confused about in re: to the therapy process, don’t hesitate to bring it up to your therapist. They can help by talking through the process, and bring more clarity on how therapy could help you and what to expect.