How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolution

It’s standard for many of us to create a resolution or commitment to change when the new year comes. However, it’s also common for us to drop off from maintaining our resolution, or to just give up completely.

Instigating change isn’t easy in our lives, which is why it can be so hard to keep resolutions. It can actually be quite a difficult process, because humans are prone to revert back to old habits or what is comfortable.

That being said, I want to provide a few tips on how we can work toward our goals, that might help make the change we seek more lasting.

Recognize change is an uphill battle.

It’s important to recognize that change does not come easy. When we make the choice toward change, it will entail persistence and effort. It is as if we are making the decision to climb a mountain; it will require work, and it may test us in a variety of ways. Anticipating these challenges and setting our mindset in that context can help shift our attitude toward change and identify what we may need to take on the climb.

Remind yourself periodically of why you are taking on this change.

Sometimes in the routine of things, we lose sight of why we’re working to change something in the first place, especially when things get hard. Motivation is what fuels us to persist, and when we lost sight of the purpose of our goals, we often will lose our motivation.

So when you are setting a new year’s resolution, ask yourself: Why am I wanting to make this change? Why is this important to me? What does this change say about my values in life?

Journal about these reflections and identify the core meaning and/or purpose of your change, and go back to it from time to time (and when you are starting to lose steam) to remind yourself. Living in accordance to our values is what helps us live a more fulfilling life, so reminding yourself of the why can help to maintain drive and motivation.

Focus on identifying small steps you can take.

Oftentimes we may start with feeling fired up toward our resolution and enact big, sweeping changes in our routine. However, these changes can peter out for many people, because we fall back into our old habits and routines.

That’s why it may be more helpful to instead focus on a small step you can take that would honor your overarching goal, as it will can be easier to practice and maintain in the long run. When we also take it one step at a time, it can allow us to work on building a new small habit, which gives us the groundwork to establish longer lasting change.

So in this vein, reflect on: What is one small step I can take in my day-to-day life toward my goal? What would be realistic for me to start with?

Once you worked on establishing a routine or habit with your first step, then you can focus on building up to the next step. Small steps matter, because those add up and help lead us toward where we want to go.

Have compassion for yourself when you fall short or struggle.

It’s critical to remind yourself that change is difficult for everyone, and that it is par for the course for us to make mistakes or struggle in maintaining that change. Just as with our old habits, it takes a lot of time, repetition, and practice to create a new habit. Old habits are easier to fall back into because we have become so well-versed in them (many of which we’ve had years of engagement and practice). So it will take us time and work to create new change in our lives.

Remind yourself that it’s okay to take time, to make mistakes, and to struggle. You are in good company with the rest of us. We can be kind to ourselves in those moments, knowing that it isn’t easy, and that we can learn from our mistakes. And with that knowledge, we can make the choice to continue to persist toward what is important to us in our lives.

Good luck, and wishing all a happy, kind, and fruitful new year!

- Janet Park, LMFT